ALL OR NOTHING
by doorist
Summary: morose one shot, Cody tells us a story, 1st person pov. language, implies desired m/m slash


Title: **ALL OR NOTHING**

Characters: Cody 1st person pov, with appearance by Randy

Summary: morose oneshot, Cody thinks too much, he's telling us a story.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned them. All of them. Noms.

Warnings: Language, slash

Words: 5,392

a/n: this is what happens when I set out to write fluff on a cold wet grey afternoon when I'm bored of packing boxes… set immediately after bragging rights with references to the preceding weeks.

I knew everybody was staring at me as I made my way to the back. I was supposed to be in agony after that yet I couldn't have felt better.

I felt free.

At the time I did anyway… with hindsight I … well, let's not get ahead of ourselves…

That wasn't supposed to happen like that and everyone knew it. But they didn't understand. They had no idea what I was going through, and I just couldn't do it anymore. Drew and I should've retained, and John was surprised when I indicated for him to put the hold on, I think he expected Drew out of nowhere to fly in and break it.

But Drew wasn't in on the plan. In fact there was no plan, I wasn't even on the card until earlier today, they had to find some way of giving John a match I guess, I wasn't naïve enough to think it was cos of all the complaints about the lack of tag action on air at the last PPV, I knew it was all about John.

I didn't know at that point that it had been Randy's suggestion in the first place. So I figured we were on air cos they were giving Nexus the gold, but then no, apparently not. Otunga was meant to tap out after only 2 minutes in the ring and Cena wouldn't have to do anything against his 'orders' and would still keep the fans happy… (Personally, the fan in me would like to see Cena go batshit crazy and become the baddest bad ass this side of Stone Cold, he could rock the tweener better than anyone, bar Randy, and still sell out every merch stall in the building. But I digress…)

As I was saying, it wasn't meant to happen like that. I thought maybe if I faked some real sore leg or something as I got backstage… but nah. I knew I was in for it. And I didn't much care. I was just glad to be free of my dual show obligations. I could go back to hiding out on smackdown like I had been for the past few months. But nobody would ever understand if I told them why.

And yet sitting here now, I'm beginning to think I made a mistake. I'm so confused right now it's unreal. But before I go getting ahead of myself again, let me go back to the beginning, that's as good a place as any to start, right?

I could feel Randy's eyes following me as I disappeared straight into the showers, and I wondered what the fuck he was even doing out here watching anyway. Probably just had his suspicions confirmed as to how shit I really am, just as he suspected. Or so I thought. I was wrong. I know that now. Maybe I've spent so long hiding that I couldn't see the wood for the trees…

Anyway. It always started with Randy, everything always did for me, and this started so long ago that I can barely remember a time before it. I've loved him for so long that it can never be anything other than a fantasy, a story in my head. Does that make sense? The reality can never live up to the dream. Like, have you ever wanted something so bad yet then when you finally get it you find you don't want it anymore?

Either because you've outgrown it, changed your mind, or it wasn't quite what you expected, what you thought it would be… or how about cos you never really expected it to happen in the first place and actually quite liked how it was in your head, because in your head the fantasy version didn't allow for real life considerations to get in the way, it was perfect cos it was just an unattainable dream and you knew real life could never compare… because real life has wives and children and parents to contend with. But in your head there's only him.

It's always been only him.

And believe me when I say I certainly never expected, even _wanted_, him to reciprocate my feelings. Okay maybe I did at first, right back before I even knew him, but that was a long time ago, and a lot has changed since then. When they first told me I'd be working with him, with Legacy, I just about jizzed in my pants. I thought it'd be brilliant, getting to be near him all the time, working with him…

I was wrong.

So fucking wrong.

Not from anything on his side, no, he was never anything but perfect. Always so welcoming, so helpful, never anything but awesome towards me, and that's what made it a million times worse. I fell more for him every fucking day, to the point where I could barely speak to him, look at him, I couldn't handle it at all. I couldn't function.

Have you any idea how fucking difficult it is to be around the person you're so fucking in love with 24/7? It's impossible, and it fucking sux. Especially when he's nothing but nice to me all the fucking time, and I just come off like some arrogant prick, clammed up with minimal words, too embarrassed to talk, knowing I look like a jerk yet doing it anyway despite my brain screaming ACT FUCKING NORMAL YOU COCK!

But I couldn't, I just couldn't be around him anymore than I had to be, so I was always pretending to ignore him half the time, (I wasn't of course, I was watching every fucking move he made like some crazy stalker,) and the rest of the time I was refusing his offers of nights out, sharing cars to cut costs… (see what I mean, he didn't need to cut costs for fucks sake, he was just doing it to be fucking nice, and if either Ted or I ever did have to share with him, he picked up the whole tab anyway, out of the kindness of his fucking heart, that bastard! It was a hard enough job being in love with him as it was without him proving time and time again how fucking perfect he is, argh. Have you any idea the hell I went through sharing with him that whole time Ted was away filming that fucking shitty assed movie? Oh my god, it was a nightmare, constant boner, I didn't walk straight for weeks.)

It was hard having a secret like this in this fucked up man's world we inhabit. I had no one to talk to, until Beth. She somehow figured it out and became my rock, everyone just naturally assuming we were together even though we never were. It must've been hard for her, she seemed to take on this mantle of being my secret-keeper, and she seemed to feel the need to cover for me, though I never asked her to, and we kinda just fell into this routine… but it wasn't fair, I wouldn't let her keep her life on hold like that, especially when she had a chance at love, so I sent her packing off to smackdown to fulfill it. And somehow everyone still thought she was the bad guy…

Anyway… if it wasn't already bad enough just seeing Randy every day before, once the Legacy stuff started it got really out of hand. But at least at first I still had Beth there to talk to, to freak out with, to confirm things my eyes refused to believe they were seeing and alert them to things they needed to see. But without her I was lost. I was going insane. My awkwardness around Randy increased tenfold and Beth would ring me after Raw and question me over every little thing, he really was getting worse, it wasn't my imagination afterall. And it went on for ages. The way he used to touch me, in public, in the ring, I could've died and gone to heaven each and every time, and I think he knew. He must've seen how I reacted. I didn't mean to, it was completely involuntary, I just couldn't help it. Sometimes I could've sworn he did it on purpose, I could see it in his eyes, that knowing look… was it just to make me squirm? Or was there more to it? I have no idea. He never said a word. Not a fucking word. I didn't even have Beth's crazy ideas to give me hope, she was too busy being in love herself to have time to worry about my predicament these days. And about time too. I missed her though. It was her suggestion that put the idea in my head in the first place, because I was slowly going mad.

I had to get out if there, I had to escape.

So yeah, it was all my idea, to get booted in the head. That could usually be counted on to buy you some time, and I all but begged for a swift departure during the draft. They finally agreed to let me switch at the last second. I didn't even tell anyone, I just went. Randy looked at me funny for a long time after that. Ted was glad to be rid of me. I think he'd figured it out, judging by his reluctance to go anywhere near me these days. I assumed Randy felt the same way, cos he'd gone all quiet too. Not that I ever gave him the chance to actually show it, let alone explain, and not that I'd ever have asked, I just fled instead. I needed to be free. I needed to avoid finding out that Randy agreed with Ted because that really would've just broken me completely. I didn't need to know, you know?

And this way? Well, it was a clean break you see, I could be a whole new me. And I was. It was as though Legacy had never even existed, and I finally felt free. I managed to completely avoid Randy at every PPV and joint show, and I think he wondered why, he rang me a few times… but I couldn't have it any other way. All or nothing I guess. It was just easier that way.

But then he shocked the hell outta me. Regular old smackdown taping, I'm called to gorilla, change of plan, opponent pulled out, what the fuck? I look around wondering who the hell it could be, we've got minutes, seconds…

and there he is.

His music hits and out he goes, leaving me this useless gibbering wreck in his wake, incapable of thought let alone wrestling.

Drew's looking at me all weird, and all I can say about it now, is that in front of Randy, I had no idea how to be Dashing. No idea at all. Not a clue. Zilch. Nada. I walked out there as Cody. Just plain Cody, who was wearing Dashing's jacket. I couldn't even fucking look at him! I stared into the 'mirror' on the tron trying to force myself to man up as we lifted our belts into the air, and it just wasn't happening. There wasn't a trace of anything even remotely dashing to be seen. I was a mess. It was only Drew asking me what the fuck was going on through gritted teeth that brought me back.

How could they do this to me? Except they didn't know what they were doing to me, they didn't have a fucking clue, no one did. But if I didn't get my act into gear every fucker in the place soon would as I crumbled right there in front of him.

I don't know how I made it through, I really don't. Like, I literally have no recollection of the match at all. Not actual details. I have feelings, sensations… the noises he makes, the sweat on his skin, everything inappropriate, you betcha, I got it. Neatly filed and stored away for future perusal. But actual details? Not a one. I know there was certainly nothing dashing about it at all, it was stripped back, raw, it was just Cody and Randy. I never did know how to be anyone important around him.

And when it was done, can anybody say 'sprint'? I sure can…

I don't know how I made it through the weeks after that, looking over my shoulder constantly in case he popped up somewhere unexpected again, it was a fucking nightmare, I was right back to square one. Like seeing him just that one time and I'd fallen in love all over again, I'd never been more glad for the emptyness of a single room…

So needless to say, being on both shows was killing me, and he kept turning up on Tuesday nights too, if I didn't know better I'd have thought he was doing it on purpose.

That's why I did it, dropping the belts at Bragging Rights, I couldn't take it any more. And I was fully prepared to face the consequences.

What I wasn't prepared for was the knock on the door when I got back to the hotel. I wasn't expecting that. I wasn't expecting anything. I'd been kinda numb since… well… yeah. So you can certainly say I wasn't expecting it to be him standing there when I opened the door. I was about the furthest thing from prepared for that as it's possible to be.

And I know it was written all over my face whether I wanted it to be or not. I froze on the spot. Incapable in every sense of the word. Yup. That's me. Completely fucking useless in front of him. As usual.

I couldn't breathe. And to hide how overcome with every emotion he made me, I pulled my usual trick, I masked it with thinly veiled anger and acted like a prick.

"Hey…"

"Hey…"

"It's been awhile Cody…"

Yeah it has, I shrug, nonchalant, uncapping my water, trying not to let it show how much he was unnerving me, just by being here, by… by being so close. I could smell him, it was intoxicating, is it even possible to miss a smell?

"Why are you even here Randy? What's going on with you?"

"I thought maybe we could hang out… you know, like old times…"

"I meant last week, the match, I mean talk about random much?"

He shrugged, and call me crazy but I could've sworn a faint blush crept across his cheeks at my question,

"It just… look," he raked his hands over his head, freshly shaved, and he definitely seemed a little embarrassed this time, "It just seemed like the only way to get to talk to you these days…" he tailed off, looking at me as though for an explanation, "You never even answer my calls…"

My heart felt heavy, to be honest I didn't think he'd even notice, and I held up my phone in some kind of lame defence, "New phone…" and I watched his face drop in realisation that I hadn't even given him my new number… and I kinda felt bad, though I still couldn't figure out why he even cared.

"You just left without saying a word… I thought maybe I'd done something wrong…"

I was shaking my head before he'd even finished the sentence, "You haven't… it's not you…"

Well it is… but I'm not about to tell him that. I also didn't add the bit that followed in my head about not only had he not done anything wrong but in actual fact had done everything completely perfectly for the past… forever.

"Then what? We're just not friends anymore just like that?"

"It's not like that Randy, I just… I had to get away…"  
"Away?"  
"Yeah," I shrugged,  
"From...from me?"

Shit. What was I even supposed to say to that? Luckily I was getting good at this shrugging thing too, and I guess my silence answered his question...

The look on his face just about killed me. Shit. This is all so fucked.  
"I dunno man..." I started to backtrack, but what was the fucking point? He knew. "Just, just everything I guess, you know? It was all just too much..."

"What was?"  
He looked completely confused, and I'm not surprised, I didn't know what I was talking about either.

"Everything."

He looked upset, hesitant, "Me?"

"Yeah." I said it softly, not sure what I was admitting, not sure if he heard, if he knew what I meant...

"I thought you… Cody I thought you liked me…"

What the fuck? Well that answered that question, he obviously didn't have a cllue after all. I sighed loudly, wishing that he'd just go away,

"I do, Randy, of course I do." And as I looked up, I hadn't even realised he'd moved so close, so it was with genuine shock that I pushed him away with all my strength when he kissed me.

He kissed me.

He fucking kissed me?

What the fuck alternate reality am I living in right now?

I returned to reality with a thump, too shocked to speak at first then exploding with complete disbelief,

"What the fuck? What the fuck do you think you're doing?" We stood staring at each other, both wide eyed, a hint of panic in Randy's, pure insanity in mine, I was just so confused right now.

"I thought you liked me…" he repeated quietly, apologetic, and I still just stared at him in horror. So he did know. Fuck. How long has he known then? But I didn't have the guts to ask.

"Randy… what's this about?

"It's about… well, I thought that'd be obvious…"

"What?" my voice sounded strangled in my throat now, I felt like I'd swallowed a piece of carpet,

"Us… it's about us."

"Us?"

What the fuck? Is he insane? There is no _us_!

"Us? There is no 'us' Randy! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Well… I know… not yet, but I thought maybe there could've been…"

I'm doing that staring thing again. Wait, what? 

"Is this a joke? Did someone put you up to it?"

"What? No, of course not…"

He actually had the audacity to look shocked. "Randy…"

I sat down on the nearest chair, my turn to rake my hands over my head, "Randy I don't understand what you're trying to do here… "

"Well I just thought that we… I dunno,"

"_We_! Ha!"

I couldn't help but laugh again, like a crazy person, throwing my hands up in the air as I jumped up, pacing madly, "That '_we_' what? That you tell me this and then what? We fuck like animals on the locker room floor?"

I look at him as his eyes widen comically, "Don't answer that…" I slumped back down in the chair in defeat, I really didn't know what he expected me to do now. I knew what I_ wanted_ to do… and I knew what I _should_ do… they were two completely different things. But I still didn't know what _he_ wanted.

"How did you know?" I asked in a small voice, biting my lip, no one else knew, I was curious…

He shrugged, I shouldn't have expected anything else really.

"I've been thinking about it for a long time, I didn't know how to talk to you… I tried… I tried telling you in other ways… you didn't notice…"

My eyes flew open. Oh but I did.

"I never realised Cody, that you… how much you…"

"Loved you?"

I said it so quietly I'm not sure he heard, I wasn't sure I wanted him to, I felt so stupid, embarrassed, just admitting it to him after all this time.

"Yeah."

Silence.

Deafening fucking silence.

Until he ventured quietly, "So uh, it's… it's past tense now?"

I looked at him confused, realisation dawning and I shook my head, I could feel my cheeks on fire.

"Good. That's good…"

I shook my head harder, no it wasn't, it wasn't good at all. "Randy, you were never…"

"Never meant to know?" he chuckled darkly, "Yeah, I get that, but just hear me out, please."

It was a statement not a request, and I obliged, despite myself and my inner misgivings, the sucker in me wanted to hear what he had to say, to see why he was here.

"It was quite a while ago Cody, that I realised. And I waited for you to say something... Why didn't you tell me?"

WHAT? He's not serious?

"Why the fuck do you think?"

"Not that, well that too… but just, about you…?"

"What and have you treat me the same way Ted does? I don't think so. I mean I don't care what Ted thinks Randy, but you, it would've killed me to know you felt the same way he does…"

"I'm not Ted."

I looked at him, my eyes wide with, what? With fear, trepidation… dare I say it, hope. But I didn't dare say it, I didn't even dare think it, cos it was never gonna happen… no, it _COULDN'T_ ever happen. No way. end of story. Give up now.

GIVE UP NOW.

"And I feel terrible that I made you feel like that, you have no idea, it... it hurts real bad that you felt you could never come to me with something like that Cody, that you didn't trust me enough, I thought we were friends, and, and I dunno, I feel like I've let you down…"

"There was no way I could tell you Randy… just the thought of how you might react…"

"Well, look, at first I was shocked, surprised even, and yeah I didn't take it seriously, but I'm not Ted, okay? I thought it was just a man crush, a bit of hero worship, escalated maybe cos you started working with me… you know? So yeah, I was doing all that stuff on purpose, to tease you a bit, I admit that, and I'm sorry… but then, Cody I saw the way you reacted, and you couldn't fake that, and I… I _realised_… "

He was pacing frantically around the room, gesticulating wildly as he talked, like he was desperate to get his point across,  
"But still, you were with Beth, I was so confused! And okay, I admit it, I liked it... I liked it alot."

He turned to face me, and was staring at me earnestly, like he was imploring me to believe him, like he didn't think I would... and my heart dropped into my stomach.

I don't wanna hear this. I can't.

"I liked the way you looked at me when you thought no one could see… I liked the way you… I dunno, _listened_ to me, like actually paid attention to what I said, _everything_ I said. And cared. I liked the way you cared. It was everything really Cody, I liked the way you… everything."

I just sat, stunned, staring at him.

"And I realised that… when you left, I really missed you. I noticed that you just completely disappeared any time we were at the same show, and I didn't know why. I watched all your matches. I watched you change. Like before my very eyes! You really flourished, you were… blossoming…"

I snorted at that and he looked at me, "But it's true. I realised I'd been holding you back. I realised you didn't feel comfortable enough around me to be yourself, to do what you felt comfortable doing, and that's my fault, and I'm sorry. And now, it's amazing, watching you grow."

What the fuck? No. This is not happening. Not now. Not when I'm finally getting my life back on track. I'm over him dammit. I know that's a lie, but I have to believe it. Why is he saying all this? Why do I feel like the universe is about to implode?

"And I just had to see you, to be sure, because I'd started… I was feeling things that I… I needed to see you. In person. I wanted to know if you still felt the same. And it was watching you go out there tonight, and the way you walked towards me down that ramp the other night... it made me realise… that I, that I wanted to tell you. So I thought… I just…"

"Why are you telling me this? What exactly do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything from you, I just want, well… you."

I couldn't breathe. I think my heart actually stopped, "What?"

"I want you."

Pffft, no fucking way. This is not happening right now. He can't be for real. "Since when?"

A shrug.

"Why?"

Another shrug. Oh and here come some words, "I dunno…"

Not quite the ones I was hoping for. "Oh, nice. Thanks."

I rolled my eyes sarcastically but couldn't help feel a little hurt. I should be jumping for joy right now, but I'm not. Isn't this everything I've ever wanted?

No, I realised it's not, not like this.

He didn't want _me_. He couldn't. No way. And why would he? Pfft. He just wanted the _idea_ of me. Not even that, of someone being in love with him, he was flattered and fooled himself into feeling obliged, he just got carried away... I realised it with a scowl, just managing not to recoil in horror. No not horror, dismay.

"I dunno man, I've been thinking about it for ages, it just kinda grew on me…"

"What did?"

"I don't know Cody! _You_ I guess? I can't explain it!"

"_Kinda grew on me_, gee thanks, makes me feel real fucking special right there."

"That's not what I... Sorry, I didn't… it came out wrong…"

He hung his head, cheeks flushed, I could tell this wasn't exactly easy on him either, but what was he actually saying here?

"So you just wanna fuck me and what? See what it's like? Try me out?" I tried to keep the incredulousness from my voice as it rose an octave with each further question,

He shrugged. What a surprise. "I dunno, I guess… I..."

I raised my eyebrow, exasperated, "Are you fucking serious? I can't do that. I can't just be some fucking experiment for you Randy!"

He shrugged again, completely helpless, I knew I wasn't making it easy on him, but I didn't know why I was making it harder on myself... I bet he wished he'd never come now.

"I didn't mean it like that… I just thought…"

"You just thought what? That you'd fuck everything up? Well done! Mission accomplished! And now what? Enlighten me, please. Because you can't just play with me like that. Did you even think for a second what that'd do to me? To Sam? To your _wife_ Randy! Or yourself for that matter. You can't just do that, you can't risk fucking it up. This is your_ life_!"

I was really angry now, and the more I talked the more furious I got, and the more I shouted the quieter he became, which only spurred me on. Was I creating my own hole and just digging myself deeper every time I opened my mouth? What exactly was I running from? And why? Wasn't this what I'd always wanted? Was it? I didn't even know any more. I was just realising that when he finally spoke, so quietly I almost missed it, he sounded... sad...

"Shouldn't that be my choice? Whether I fuck it up or not? Maybe I already have..."

What? Now that was the last thing I expected him to say. But I couldn't back down, not now. Not that I even knew what I'd be backing down from.

I shook my head, "No, I won't let you. You haven't got a choice. You made your decision when you married your wife, just cos you're feeling flattered and horny doesn't mean you can go around destroying peoples lives!"

"Well I wasn't exactly planning on announcing it to the whole world Cody. Not everyone... not yet…"

"Try before you buy huh? That's fucking rich. But I meant _me_, I meant _my_ life Randy."

He stared at me like he really hadn't ever thought about it, like he'd only been losing sleep over how it would effect him, like he just assumed because I loved him that I'd be all for it. Or was that just what I was reading into it? Because that'd make it easier on me?

"People change Cody. People make the wrong decisions..."

I wasn't sure who he was trying to convince more, himself or me. He was sitting forward, wringing his hands together, maybe he really was serious about this?

"It's not just spur of the moment either, I've been thinking about this for a long time…"

"A long time? Randy I've been thinking, _dreaming_ about this since I was fucking nineteen! It'd destroy me Randy! I can't just have a taste of you only for it to be taken away! You don't understand, if you thought you were doing me a favour you thought wrong!" Was I being unnecessarily harsh?

"I thought… I dunno…"

"That I was just a horny little hook up, no better than a ring rat?"

"No, of course not!"

But once I'd started I couldn't stop, why was I so angry? "That I'm so in love with you I'd do anything you ask just cos you offered? That I'd be satisfied with just a taste of you? You just don't get it, do you? That could never be enough! That'd only make it a million times worse for me, cos then I'd_ know_ what I was missing out on. If I had a taste I'd want more. And I can never have more."

"But it_ is_ more, it's more than that,"

"But it's not enough Randy, don't you see? What makes you think I'd want a life like that? Playing second fiddle, living a lie, being a secret?"

"But it's already a secret, you're already…"

"Already living a lie?" I chuckled wryly, the irony of the situation not lost on me, "Yeah. I know. But it's _my_ lie, my_ life_, at least I'm not lying to myself. At least I'm not hurting the people I love which is what you'll be doing."

"I thought you loved _me_."

"What?" I looked at him, not sure I caught what he said,

"You're hurting _me_."

I stared at him, words dying on my lips. What am I supposed to say to that?

"Randy, I'm not living under any illusions, no dreams of what can never be, not any more. If I become your lie, your dirty little secret, I'll always be dreaming of something more. Of being truly yours. _Only_ yours. And we both know that'll never happen…"

"Why not? Because you're not _letting_ it happen that's why! Why can't you let me be the judge of that? What if I wanted more too? Surely that'd… "

What the fuck is he saying? Can he even hear himself? This ends now. Before I go insane. Before I give in...

"I can never have more Randy, I'm not gonna go about deluding myself. I can never _allow_ myself more. Cos it'd never be enough. How many times do I have to say it? Don't you get it? I want _all_ of you. I want everything. Everything that you can _never_ give me. That you have no intention of ever giving me. Because it belongs to someone else. And I know that."

"But…"

"Oh for fucks sake! I'm _GAY_ Randy! And you're not! You do know what that means right? Do you get it now? It's a very simple equation! So I'd rather go without any of it at all. I can't miss what I've never had."

I stood up, pacing around the room, I was really angry now, I'd worked myself into a total despair. "Fuck you Randy! I was doing fine until tonight! Fuck you! You've fucked everything up!"

"I'm sorry."

"Good! You don't even really know me Randy!"

"Yes I do."

"No you don't!"

"I know more than you think Cody…"

I snorted, "Like what?" But I didn't even let him speak, "If you knew me at all you'd have known to leave it the fuck alone! I was doing okay, I was doing okay Randy, outta sight outta mind…"

"What, were you just gonna avoid me forever?"

"If I had to, yeah! It's a start! And it'd be a damn sight better than how I felt every time I had to see you!"

I saw his face when I said that, I didn't mean to hurt him, I really didn't, but it was the truth. I wasn't thinking, I was just saying how I really felt, finally. It was a long time coming.

"Cody…"

"What?"

"I missed you."

"Don't Randy, don't do this. I can't, don't you see? It's all or nothing for me, all or nothing. Okay? So don't even bother. Don't do this to yourself, please. Don't do it to your wife, your daughter, don't do it to me. Just walk away now, we'll pretend we never even had this conversation, okay?"

"Cody I…"

"No. Go Randy. Fuck! Just fucking go!"

"You're wrong you know. I do know you, more than you think."

I sighed, sinking down on the bed, my head falling forwards into my hand as I rubbed my face hard with my fingers. "I know."

"What?"

"I know you do."

"Then let me stay…"

"I can't Randy."

"Why?"

He was standing so close to me now that I could hardly breathe, I couldn't look at him, "Because I know I won't be able to stop."

Our eyes met, and our lips did too.

My heart stopped.

And I walked away.


End file.
